http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/ What's on the minds of young leaders from around the globe? en-us http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/524569 I hope I can achieve the dream I always prayed for to happen ...

Just need support and tis support is only one word ..

yes one word can make me happy ..]]> Wed, 12 Nov 2008 03:35:00 EST http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/524569 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/481677 Fri, 19 Sep 2008 15:59:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/481677 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/438789 Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:01:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/438789 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/438791
I joined Association Najdeh and it's a non governmental organization which works inside and outside Palestinian camps and its main goal is to empower women in palestinian society. I started to work as a translator and preparing report. The report that I had to prepare was about the right to work campaign , I was working from the bottom of my heart because its my cause and I feel it and suffered from the bad situation of being an educated palestinian trying to support your family by the minimun wages you got through illegal work in lebanon.

I can say that they must let us work because we are 75% educated society and we have so much abilities .

I love working at Najdeh and I will fight for my rights.

juli]]> Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:01:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/438791 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/414809
I am working in new job and everybody is great , I work in non stoppable way but this gives me power to continue ..

I love my new job and this makes me creative in what i do ..

hope that god gives me strength to be satisfied and happy ..

Amen ]]> Sun, 06 Jul 2008 11:47:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/414809 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/428583 I joined just to fill my space free time during summer and to have the ability to go out and not to stay at home for three months.
What happened was unexpected , I loved the new job and Im thinking now of quiting teaching , as if I found myself in this job . Im working as a translator even its different thing than what my major study is which is Arabic literature .

I studied political science but I was unable to continue it and moved to arabic to find job in what I studied . I love politics and in this association Im finding myself .

My parents are getting crazy cuz the salary as a teacher is better but what Im telling them that I love this new job and I can make a difference in my society ...

I used to use my mind in everything I do but this time I will follow my heart in choosing this job .. I love this job as a translator and believe that I can make a difference in what I love ..
]]> Sun, 06 Jul 2008 11:47:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/428583 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/365311
I used to go out with friends but this year is different .. Im totally unable to smile cuz everytime I remember that Im away from the man I love a tear runs on my cheek and I lose control and become unable to breath ...

I am so sad and when I put off my candles I cried inside saying his name with whisper wishing that he is beside me ....

will that wish come true ???
will he cross four countries to be beside me ???]]> Fri, 02 May 2008 15:24:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/365311 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/346173
Happy easter for all my friends ,

Mawlid nabawi shareef for all my friends too ,

may all your days be happy and blessed ,

god bless everybody ]]> Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:47:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/346173 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/309287 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:27:00 EST http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/309287 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/240239
sorry for not being able to be Online or writing anything new but I am busy with family in this summer vacation and I am Hardly finding time to sit or chech anything...

regards and do take care ..

misss you alll]]> Wed, 08 Aug 2007 10:56:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/240239 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/217103
I was answering in a very good way even more good than in my dreams ..

the interviewer praised me for the innovation and the nice personality ..

I am happy coz i took advices of friends and i am feeling so much confident of my abilties.

Hurray]]> Sun, 10 Jun 2007 09:16:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/217103 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/213935 Sun, 03 Jun 2007 05:32:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/213935 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/212767 Thu, 31 May 2007 13:08:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/212767 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/208469
Happy Happy Happy ]]> Tue, 22 May 2007 12:58:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/208469 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/201413
I need advice

I am broken what shall I do? Sadness overwhelmed over me
Shall I surrender? Give me an advice to face the feelings inside of me ……

Signed : sad ….
]]> Thu, 10 May 2007 16:21:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/201413 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/194091
]]> Mon, 30 Apr 2007 11:43:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/194091 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/179375 I dreamt last night of a nightmare made me awake till dawn..it is not easy to see a huge rocket falls near you and the floods surrounds you ,and the current of water draggs you to the bottom..i was feeling that so real that I was so terrified ...
I was standing in class and i was thinking of this nightmare..why ?I don't know ..
why my dreams are almost real?? ...When I dream of something ..anything i feel it almost real ...I have a worst fear that I reach a point not differentiating illusion from real l!!!!!!!!
]]> Tue, 10 Apr 2007 11:51:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/179375 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/178721
I felt with so much energy and still feeling it coz i need it tomorrow coz it's the first day at school after the vacation..

May God give me strength in the coming two months coz work will be continous ....]]> Sun, 08 Apr 2007 03:39:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/178721 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/172255
I will be able to sleep more hours in the morning ...

I am so happy sooo happy......]]> Sun, 25 Mar 2007 13:43:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/172255 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/165969
I decided to tell her the truth whatever it would cost me humiliation …and I had reached to a tiny decision: If I intended to marry her, why wouldn't tell her my story with Nada?
It's true that my relation with Nada hasn't completely over but both of us knows it's over, and what is left from this story is to be buried in the grave, just in one strict word either I say it or she does… All this is not stupidity, not dragging a problem I'm away from it, it's just as a wise friend said...(it's impossible to imagine what could happen if my story with Nada been told to Ghaidaa by another tongue other mine) ..... "You don't know how people tell stories …and you don't know how Ghaidaa understands stories…"
Then, why shouldn't I tell her the truth? Does she think that I spent my life, before I met her, as an angel drags behind him the white robe of virtue? For each one of us his own experience in life …why shouldn't I tell her the truth? Why don't I tell her that I loved her then its over and each one of us found his own deep destiny? On the contrary too, I see she will discover more proofs on my love to her when she knows that her existence in my way was not by chance but my choice... and when she knows too, that I left another woman for her sake, and then I confess to her...
No, honesty must be... even if there is no gain from it, but also there shall not be an loss too... eventually , isn't her right to know everything about me before our hands engage to get along with each other ?
_ You behave like that when you are about to do something...
_ How do I behave?
_ You shake your head violently as if you are getting rid of something or fixing a thing... what about you today?

This creature notices everything …that's why she makes anything easy to say... she reads my gestures clearly, and this is a magnificent thing indeed, she was on the old big seat that sleeps under the shadow of the old pine tree, here was our first meeting... then we used to come to it even without making that a subject for romance..

_ You are right... I want to be honest with you about something...

She folded her gloves, as if she was about to leave, then she raised her black wide eyes into my eyes directly, and anticipated, while I was busy with wiping the back edge of the seat by my finger...

_ You know, there are things that should be told...
_ Of course...

She throws it (the sentence) briefly, and continued waiting...

_ Before I knew you I had a relation with another girl called Nada...
_ Were you in love with her?
_ Yes... but I stopped loving her...

Again she unfolded her gloves over her black purse and said:
_ You stopped loving her? How? Did you close the drawer in the closet?
_ Which closet?
_ Your heart. I imagined that you own a collection of drawers; you open one and close another as you wish...

Infact I was not expecting that things will go in this direction, so suddenly I found myself confused …
_ Stop mocking Ghaidaa, you don't think that I am like a white page spent its life waiting …
_ Of course not, I do understand that I don't deserve your waiting … You've been generous to me by the last line of your white page… isn't it?

How can I move this subject now from this weird road?
I spent a while thinking and silent then I started from the beginning :

_ I was talking about a girl I knew, her name is Nada…
_Was she beautiful?
_ No … kind of …yes… she was beautiful…
_ why haven't you remembered her till now?
_ I said that I want to clear things…
_ You are afraid of hearing the story from someone else other than you? Isn't it?
_ Yes… that's why I wanted to tell you the truth..

She folded her gloves, then opened the purse, threw them into it, and shut it violently:
_You want to block all the other roads around me?.
_ Which roads are you talking about? Don't be stupid… I don't want you to get mad just because someone have twisted the story for you or lied to you…

She looked at me calmly, and I was noticing a deep rage in her eyes…

_ You want to tell the story…and the hero will appear so poor.. I think you will say: she threw her net at me and dragged me behind her?

Foolishly … I shouldn't start this conversation.. How can I get to the point without interruption?. I got close to her, and put my hand behind the back of her back seat.
_ Ghaidaa… try to understand… I had a relation with nada …now it's over… that's all what I wanted to say from the beginning …
She moved a little bit and pushed her head backwards:
_ And why you are saying that to me?
_ Because you have to know…
_ Have you said it to her?
_ No..

She shoke her head, stared at the ground, she seemed to me as if she is going to cry …
_ No, I didn't say it, but she knew it…
_How?
_ I don't know… I think she knew it..

She murmured a mocking whisper, and raised her hair with her fingers..
And asked in cold way:
_ Is that the story?
I shoke my head approving, then she added:
_That means that if I saw you together one day, I must say to myself:
There is nothing and no significance for that... he stopped loving her…isn't that what do you want?
_No, that's not what I want…what I want you to say to whom who will tell you the story: that's not of your business…I know everything…
_but I don't know everything…isn't it? You haven't tell me how many times have you kissed her and how? How many times have you said to her I love you..were you kissing her as you are kissing me now? Closing my eyes with your both thumbs and planting the rest of your fingers in my hair, behind my ears?...
_Ghaidaa…

She stood up holding her purse, and her rage was crazy:
_ I don't know anything…who knows..haven't you said that there is a relation with one…yes, with one…but it is an insignificant relation?

The discussion reached its climax, then I relaxed desperately and closed my eyes, she stepped two steps then she returned then confronted me:
_I hope that you don't consider yourself a knight that girls threw themselves on his feet…you are not but a white liar page …you are a liar..
I heard the nervously echo of her steps as she was walking away, while my eyes were still closed..

*********

This thing will be more easier with Nada..And if things are over with her then it will be easy to make Ghaidaa happy again...that was a deadly point of weakness not to end the relation with Nada before I tell Ghaidaa the truth.. Why I didn't finish it with Nada first? At least Nada leaves the one says all what is in his head before she interrupts him and makes him says all what she does want to say …

_ You came back naughty boy! Haven't I asked you not to come to my work? What's wrong with you? Did missing me hit you?

I was busy with touching a piece of cloth in front of her, and whispered:
_Nada...I have something to say..
_ I will not bring you a chair..you must stay stand up in the shop, haven't I told you that..why you are gloomy?
_ Because of what I will say now…

She smiled and looked at me while she started to fold a piece of cloth around her piece of wood:
_ Don't lie..you are upset because I haven't come to your last date…but believe me, I was so busy..
_ Nada, I am going to marry..

Suddenly I looked up and gathered all my strength to look at her directly, but she kept folding the cloth, and her smile got widened..
_ And in spite of that. you are not going to make me jealous.. search for another lie..
_ Nada, I am not trying to make you jealous…really I am going to marry..

She held the parcel of cloth and put it back in its place, then she returned and looked at me bending on the barrier between us:
_What is the name of the bride?
_ Ghaidaa..

She slightly hit her thigh and shoke her head slowly:
_ My dear…didn't your head helped you but with this romantic name?
You always fall in a tiny hole…why didn't you say Laila for instance, or Zainab, don't you think it's more realistic?
_Nada.. I love her..

_Oh my dear..oh …just because I missed one date makes you hurt me in this way? why don't you stop playing?

No, no that can't continue…I came close to the barrier and caught her from her arms…

_ I am not playing..I love someone called Ghaidaa and I want to marry her…


I got confused and started to search for a point to start again..while she laughed a brief laugh and dragged her arms from my hands and bent on the shelf on cloth:

_ You have shortage in imagination when you want me to see you?
_I don't want to see you.. I want to marry!
_Marry…don't you see that I'm so tough to be jealous from such lies?
Who taught you to reach love by jealousy, you naughty boy?
_ Nobody... nobody taught me.. how can I convince you.. how?

She came nearer from the barrier, and acted the role of the hurt:
_ Oh my dear… I am almost going to die from jealousy… and you are an excellent actor today.. by my honor I swear, my dear, that I've been busy on our date…why don't you believe me?

I was unable to stop my rage, so I exploded:
_Why don't you believe me?
_Me? I belive you completely…
She touched the back of my hand with her fingers, and dropped her head over her chest and raised her eyes with slightly:
_ Have you believed me? Alright.. when do you want me to meet you lover boy?


Note: I tried to translate the phrases as much as I could, and left some sentences as it is literary coz there beauty lies within the words that the writer used.

Dalal S./ juli shaheen




]]> Sun, 11 Mar 2007 10:45:00 EDT http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/165969 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/163455 They let things go and search for better other things ,but they realize after that that they didn't find happiness in what they ran for ,because they thought that they will find happiness with the new stuff .
I am happy with the things I have and If I am happy why to search for things I might imagine it will make me happy ,this what we can call satisfaction .

Human beings are so greedy for having everything and instead all what they have nothing.

My advice is to know the value of what you have coz you don't know it's value till you lose it.]]> Sun, 25 Feb 2007 02:15:00 EST http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/163455 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/163155 I miss to be with you ,I miss to sit under your leaves ,you are the most beautiful creature god created.I wish to visit you another time but you live in a place i can't jump over the fences and out of my sight ...
forgive me if i am unable to be with you but I am sure they will take care of you ...your age is 103 years but I am glad to know you now ...
In my heart you will be and I miss you alot....
To the most beautiful tree I say I sure love you ...:))))]]> Thu, 22 Feb 2007 12:33:00 EST http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/163155 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/162999
I haven't write anything since three months inspite of the major incidents occured in my life concerning my job and my ambitions and even my thoughts .

I wrote so many things in my diary but the best day I lived is the day I held my diploma .

I wrote what I wish to do and i will do it .. a list is in my diary of the things I am going to do but I will wait some time to do it coz i need to be brave and strong .

to my diary I am sorry for not telling you lately what I feel .

I miss you my diary ,my dear friend.

]]> Wed, 21 Feb 2007 08:33:00 EST http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/162999 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/162123
I realized how much lonely I am even of the so much friends around .

On this day I called all my friends and relatives even my aunt and wished them a happy valentine's day ,just for the sake of sharing them the love and care ..I don't believe in such a day but I believe nice words can make people around smile and happy.

I miss that man who can offer me a red rose and say " I love you "...
]]> Thu, 15 Feb 2007 13:56:00 EST http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/162123 http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/161239
I was shocked and started to cry like a little baby...

Life is not fair ...work work work and no time to rest ...

I spent an hour crying alone and no shoulder to cry on or someone to hug to ease the pain..

I was totally speechless and stood infront of my class trying to hide a tear struggling to come out ...

I cried and said to my students "arabic language lost one of it's bases .. lost a man who was loyal in work to the max..we lost a father "

Teacher Ibraheem may mercy of Allah be upon you...]]> Thu, 08 Feb 2007 10:02:00 EST http://julishaheen.tigblog.org/post/161239